October President's Column

23 Sep 2017 5:33 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

Hello Everyone,

Hey, more things have been going on than my uncle with a drinking problem getting a job as a whiskey taster. Let’s see where do we start?

SUP PARTY

This was a great time at Jan Wyant's place and we had the best weather and the best day to try out HALU paddleboards with the local rep from Johnson City. They even had a party boat paddle board that was impossible to fall off. It was a great!!!!!

Three cheers to Barbara Wise for all her efforts and we had a nice crowd come eat and later paddleboard. Hopefully, this will be a yearly event and it was a barrel full of monkey fun! 

BOURBON TOUR

Now, I have been to Paris, been all over France, but Bardstown, KY is just a real kick in the rear. I had the privilege to go with club members to six (yes six not five) distilleries in Bardstown and I must say that the closest that I have come to seeing eternal light and true understanding of being was when I started drinking bourbon at the Wild Turkey Distillery at about 9:30 in the morning. Wow was it neat! We learned all the bourbon history of the area, had great meals, got to shake hands with Jimmy Russell, the distiller with Jim Beam they named RUSSELL BOURBON after. It was just a great, great, time.

The smell of a bourbon distillery is like a brand on your skin it never goes away - only gets stronger.

HALLOWEEN PARTY

DO NOT FORGET, come to the Halloween Party at Hilda’s the 28th of October. It will be a great time as always and because it will be in the Barn the weather does not matter.

A TRAGEDY IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE

As we age we always think seriously about all the things we have put off in our lives or whatever reason. Then we understand, if we are going to do what we want, we just decide, get determined, and try and get it done.

Well, I have always wanted to write a play, but not just a regular play, an epic tragedy. I really think that epic tragedies will really be the rage in the future due to the way things are on the planet presently. Shakespeare was the god of this type of art form and I think it is time to do another.

The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, often shortened to Hamlet is a tragedy written by Shakespeare at an uncertain date between 1599 and 1602. Set in Denmark, the play is about the revenge Hamlet is urged to wreak upon his uncle by the ghost of Hamlet's father.  Hamlet’s uncle had murdered his father and seized the throne, also married his mother.

I am writing a play called, The Tragedy of Neblett, French Son of the Chattanooga Ski Club. Now, right off the bat, I will have name recognition.

I can shorten it to simply Neblett, and it can be a tragedy about revenge he is urged to wreak upon all his friends that tell him he should not go on ski trips with the Chattanooga Club because he will not have a good time. He is urged by the deceased club members Dan Paul and Harry Weil to physically harm the president of the Chattanooga Club, who is gender-challenged, and telling Neblett not to go on trips for his own wellbeing.

Yeah, it sounds really good I know. 

I am still writing it but I wanted to let you in on one of the soliloquies that I have done for the second act. As the old saying goes, “the opera ain’t over till the fat lady sings,” well you cannot have a tragedy unless you have a good soliloquy.

I am pretty proud of this and feel blessed to let you in on what may be something that will be spoken about and outlive us all for centuries. Here we go, and get ready to get amazed by the following prose:

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

To ski, or not to ski: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to have knee replacement and nerve impingement surgery
Or deal with the slings and arrows of living in Chickamauga all by myself, alone, at the house,
Or to take up arms and try and beat the s#!t out of my stupid neighbors,
And by red neck meanness, kick their stupid  a$$ just because.

How about dying or sleeping the angst away;

Yeah sleep, and by a sleeping never ski again………

Oh, the heart-aches of getting up early on Saturday morning to catch a bus,

The natural shocks of late flights, being constipated in a different state, and it being just too cold to get out thin air of despondency on the slope
That flesh must taste the cold time after time again, will it ever end……..[wow this is great]
Devoutly I would rather die or go to sleep watching NASCAR than ski;
To sleep watching Kurt Busch race: Maybe I could dream about skiing

But here is the rub: When you dream of skiing you miss it

Like missing a Krystal hamburger on a fall afternoon when ending a multi-day drunk
For in that sleep of death, which watching stock car racing can cause, when we are on a snow covered ski run dreaming on the couch,

When we have shuffled off – piste and look to find our moral center in a bump run from hell,

We must have pause: there’s the option of blowing out the right or left knee in the bumps
Now that is the decision that is full of calamity, but makes for a long fulfilled life;
Yes whomever bears the scars of operations on knees, elbows, shoulders, and backs

These are merely the rat-tail whips and scorns of time we place upon our bodies,
the ski patrol telling you to slow down, the good skiers being snarky with contemptible smiles,

The horrors of seeing a wonderful blue ski run that will not be groomed the next day,

Having to wait for hours for Jim Mullenix to pick out his best looking one-piece to wear daily,
The insolence of hot dog skiers and snowboarders that do not even deserve to suck eggs,

When instead of putting up with all of this, you could take a .45 and shoot off a couple of toes
Never to feel the cool breeze of winter air flying madly against your face ever again

Too damned insane to stop eating Cheetos and having GI issues from fast food  

The onus of a weary, weary, life

But if we do not ski and we die, then what are we going to talk about in heaven?

Now that is the” Nut-cutter,” because heaven is forever, one continuous ski club meeting.

Yes, we put up with physical issues, being teed off on ski trips and going to ski club meetings because that is what we have always done

What are we going to do different? Join a hiking club? Buy Braves season tickets? Pull for UT?

Well thinking about not skiing makes one a severe sissy and wusses up everybody around

I guess, the first thing one does is say I have had enough of snow

and all the bad things that are associated

But when we really think about it all great ideas get flattened out and right this minute

I’m not going to do a damned thing until I get better after surgery!!!!!!!!!!!

………………………………………………………………………………………………

See you at the next meeting!