News

  • 20 Sep 2017 11:35 AM | Anonymous member (Administrator)
    What is the Angels' Share?        

    What is the Devil's Cut?

    The name Devil’s Cut is a play on words from a common term used in liquor production. The phrase ''angels' share" is used to describe the natural evaporation that occurs while the whiskey is aging.

    Distillers have come to expect a little less liquid to come out of the barrel than was put into it and that the angels' have taken their share.

    Jim Beam's Devil's Cut takes advantage of the flavors left in the wood of freshly used barrels. Through a proprietary process, they inject water into bourbon barrels that have just been emptied. This extracts more of the bourbon and oak notes found in the barrel and that water is then used to cut Jim Beam bourbon that receives just a little extra aging time down to its bottling proof.

    The result is rich, deeply flavored bourbon that both enthusiasts and newcomers to bourbon will enjoy.

    • All bourbon is whiskey, but not all whiskey is bourbon!
    • 96% of all bourbon is made in Kentucky!
    • There are more kegs of bourbon in Bardstown, KY then there are people and horses!

    If those of us that journeyed to Bardstown, KY, learned anything, we all learned the above information on Bardstown and bourbon.

    We had a wonderful trip, the weather was perfect, and the people that went on the trip were perfect...well, except for Ashley, however, he does have an excuse.  Thank you, Ashley, for asking for this second trip.

    What a treat, little did I know that there would be a Chihuly exhibit at Makers Mark.  That was an added bonus.  Little did I know there would be a BBQ cook-off at Jim Beam, another added bonus. 

    I wish I could end this with, “Go with us next time!"  This will be my last time to lead this trip, but I will be glad to give information to anyone that would like to lead another trip.


  • 24 Aug 2017 4:53 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

    Hello Everyone,

    Wow, summer is almost gone. Hope one and all have had good times in the heat which has not been too bad this year.

    Remember this Sunday, August 27th; we have a Stand Up Paddle Board (SUP) Party to give a final wave goodbye to the Summer of 2017.  Contact Barb Wise and please come and socialize. We have a sizable group and the more we get the better time we’ll have.

    WHAT WE SAY IS WHAT EVERYBODY REMEMBERS!!!!!

    I was watching my usual highbrow, intellectual, and international antiquities television shows when I learned that the writer of our United States Constitution, Thomas Jefferson, said one of his most profound truisms during what was the most turbulent and stressful time of his life.

    I understand that during the pressure of the creating a new country and being charged with writing all the documents it would need to survive, Jefferson was almost driven to the point of a nervous breakdown when he uttered these few but memorable words; “Hey, who is that hot chick with the light brown skin over there next to the butter churn?”

    Now that statement means something to me.

    It has limitless depth, complexity, and shows one of our founding fathers’ true moral make up and what he was really all about.  Could it be fake? No! It must be true because the journalist who relayed the unforgettable statement, Tina Fey with Saturday Night Live Weekend Update, is someone I have trusted for years due to her giving out the news to the public just the way she sees it.

    Now, I thought it would be great if I did a little digging through my favorite website, www.makeitupasyougoalong.com and happened to come up with some other less than memorable quotes from some great men and political leaders of our nation that also have some spunk.  I think you will be surprised at some lesser known but still profound quotes which are the following:

    1. “I have been rich and I have been poor. Being overweight is better.” William Howard Taft

    2. “I would rather belong to a poor nation that was free, than to a rich nation that had a really overweight president (referring to Taft).” Woodrow Wilson

    3. “America's present need is not heroics but healing; however, colored beach balls can only be held underwater so long.” Warren G. Harding

    4.  “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing.  Now, if you can crash an economy, then you've really got something.” Calvin Coolidge

    5. “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and then spend all the waking hours applying the wrong remedies.” Gerald Ford

    6. “Anyone who says he can see through women is really missing a lot.” Lyndon Baines Johnson

    7. “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” Franklin Delano Roosevelt

    8. “There are three kinds of men: the ones that learn by reading, the few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence to learn for themselves.” Harry Truman

    9. “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How the elephant got in my pajamas I do not know.” George W. Bush

    10. “Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.” Richard Milhous Nixon

    11. “Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?” Ronald Reagan

    12. “Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.” Dwight D. Eisenhower

    13. “Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.” George H. W. Bush

    14. “There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.” Jimmy Carter

    15. “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” Bill Clinton

    16. “A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.” Bill Clinton and several others

    17. “No, Jackie, that is not a white hair but a blonde one. And no, I do not know how it got stuck in my teeth.” Jack Kennedy 

    See you at the next meeting!


  • 24 Aug 2017 2:16 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

    Just a quick reminder of all the events coming up this fall. We are truly becoming a year-round club, with local events, regional weekend trips, and of course, our Panama Canal cruise. Hope everyone has a great time with your fellow Chattanooga Ski Club members at the following:

    • Stand Up Paddleboard (SUP) party, August 27
    • Kentucky Bourbon tasting tour, September 8-10
    • Virginia Creeper bike ride and stay in historic Abingdon, Virginia, October 13-15
    • Crescent Ski Council Conference in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, October 20-22
    • Panama Canal Cruise, October 21-31

    Thanks to Barb Wise, Don Tomlin, Bobbi Witt, and Jim Bates for coordinating these terrific events.

  • 24 Aug 2017 2:09 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

    Why I strain and struggle to develop a decent developé, and something that resembles an arabesque in ballet classes several times a week, isn’t because I have delusions of professional ballet in my future.  Hardly.  I’m pushing 60. What I’m after is far more ambitious and seemingly impossible.

    I had the most fortunate luck to be named P.R. Coordinator at Snowbird Ski and Summer Resort in the summer of '88.  I worked for the crazy and amazing Dick Bass, climber of all seven continent’s highest peaks, including summiting Everest at my present age! WOW!

    At the time, we in P.R, and mainly Marketing, (it was Marketing’s idea), decided to give away free skiing to all over 70 years old.

    Not an inspired decision in the land of non-drinking, non-smoking Mormons and friends who skied religiously every year of their lives for an average of 50 days a year.  Snowbird Ski and Summer Resort was overrun with skiers over 70, 80, and even 90 years old.  There must have been what seemed like 50,000 daily taking advantage of this great offer.  As you can imagine, they bought nothing.  They brought picnics and spread out in mile-long lines across the slopes stopping all non-septuagenarian-pluses from skiing at all, or forcing the youngsters to go around the hordes of elderly ski bums.

    We in P.R. and Marketing had to rescind our offer swiftly by bumping the age for free skiing to over 80.  There were still hundreds and maybe thousands taking advantage of our misguided generosity.

    It was then I determined to do everything in my power, short of giving up ice cream, to be one of those octogenarian skiers who ski for free and piss off the younger generations. 

    Of course, I’m not “of the blood” like the Mormons, and neither Norwegian nor Swedish with a propensity to live forever, sporting joints made of rubber bands, or matched with the energy of a robust Viking seeking Valhalla.

    I’m Italian.  Have you ever seen an old Italian woman?  We look like a box-of-female with a mustache.

    We are short, more than plump, and we shuffle rather than walk.  These are the genes I wrestle against while I age.  The mustache is under control for the moment, but fighting the box-of-female physique takes a herculean effort. 

    It requires many ballet lessons in a room full of 20-year-olds in leotards, (an act of bravery even Vikings couldn’t endure).  There are hundreds of pliés with crunching knees, the sound of which distracts the young dancers.  There are battements that are downright embarrassing.  The real dancers are looking directly at their knees in front of their cute little button noses with straight legs.  Mine are nowhere to be seen down around the 90-degree angle rather than the 120-degrees.  Holding the barre with a death grip, straining to remember the combinations with steps that number into the teens, I struggle to try to follow without screwing up the girl standing behind me.  I make feeble jokes, and smile to polite or no replies. They look at me like I have no business in that room.  They are right, and I ignore the truth and keep attempting to get my body to do what my brain imagines it can do. 

    The heat creates swollen creeks of sweat rolling between everything, and down my face.  I run to get a sip of water and try to get back to the barre without looking at my out-of-place form in the mirror.  Barre is over and we move to the center for turns.  Hundreds of turns in complex combinations that stagger my brain to retain half of the string.  After three or four stabs at it, sometimes I get the combination only if I’ve attempted the same in many previous classes. I feel like I’ve just won an Oscar, or the lottery.  I will be humbled again in just moments, but for a split second of mastery, I’m triumphant.  We line up for adagio with more lengthy strings of many steps this time on relévé to passé to attitudes, tombé to pas de boureé,  and chock full of arabesques; extending the leg back straight-kneed, and as high up behind your head as you can in relévé.  The movements are supposed to be smooth and look effortless.  Mine look strained and sad, but I keep up.  I notice that my arm placement has improved and my hands don’t look too bad anymore.  My feet are pointed nicely.  I keep my focus on my hands and feet in the mirror instead of the avalanche of flaws in between.

    At last we bow to our brilliant teacher signaling the end of the lesson. My muscles shake as I anticipate the pain levels in a day or so.

    Despite my ineptitude and frustration these lessons improve my kinetic balance.  Kinetic balance is an absolutely necessity for skiing and aging.  In skiing the terrain changes constantly and responding immediately is demanded every second of the descent. The same with aging. 

    On the days I don’t attempt ballet, I rollerblade, work out with weights, swim, hike and any other activity I can squeeze into my too tight schedule.  The result is a slightly slimmer box-of-female physique I hope to keep intact for the next decade or more.

    My goal to become an elderly ski bum is in sight, if only I can practice balance daily, keep most of the ravages of age at bay, and focus on the gleaming goal ahead: free skiing.  Who’s with me?

  • 24 Jul 2017 4:19 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)
    HELLO EVERYONE,

    Well the way I understand it, Noah was allowed to look over from the mountains to the “Promise Land,” and it was good, but he never got to go there. Dr. Martin Luther King always talked about getting to the “Promised Land,” of racial equality, but he knew, and told his followers shortly before his passing, he would never see it.

    As for the Lake Party last week, we saw the Promised Land, we got right in the middle of it, and not only was it beautiful, it was “D—m Good!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Whoever, or whomever, went to the Lake Party at Bobbie and Chris Witt’s Blue Springs Hunting Club in Georgia last week will understand why Noah and Dr. King had to be a little envious. Our party was at one of the prettiest sites around with acres of sunflowers, and three lakes to look at while you drank beer, painkillers or any other alcoholic concoction available and in an air conditioned clubhouse.

    Three cheers and a happy Hi-Ho Silver to Bobbi and Chris who were the best hosts and thanks to everyone that made the party wonderful day for the club. It was great day but, overall l think nature’s beauty of the Hunt Club was "the prettiest girl at the dance.”

    It was a very good time.  However, there was no Bud Light, Miller Lite, or Michelob Ultra to be found. We will do better next time.

    August

    Remember, next month we have a SUP Party (Stand Up Paddle Board) for everyone to attend and Rock Creek Outfitters will bring their supply of rental paddle boards to the lake at Jan Wyatt’s subdivision club house. Look for the directions and this should be another great day to enjoy the hot days on the water before the end of summer. We would be the most bigoted of people if we did not enjoy the other seasons of the year even though winter is the best.

     “Son of a son, son of a son, son of a son of a ski club……”

    For the past couple of years, this is the time that I have fun.  I always try and write about something I think is funny, and on a rare occasion say something serious. Well this time I hope to be sort of all over the latter.

    John Neblett has given his all to the club and we, I mean everyone in the club, have benefited from his actions, in some form or fashion, over the past twenty some odd years. As I said at the lake party, it is a rare person who will go and risk their life for duty and honor in the service of their country. It is also a rare individual who will give their all to an organization with time, effort, and service and only receive in return, memories of seeing others have good times that the same individual helped make happen. Doing for others is what John always did and in return he got a couple of “ atta boys,” and “way to go,” time and time again.

    We need to be thankful that John like to snow ski and got membership in our club. He could have put his time and efforts in one of the following local clubs:

    • 1.     Tennessee Valley Canoe Club;
    • 2.     Chattanooga Chess and Chevrolet Mud Truck Racing Club;
    • 3.     Tri-State Rear-End Shaving and Cushy Motorcycle Seat Club;
    • 4.     The Tennessee Perpetual Date Night Club (meetings every night); or
    • 5.     The Nude Mexican Telephone Workers Men’s Club of South Chickamauga;  

    I am sure he would have given his all to any of the above clubs as well but we are thankful he chose ours.

    Since as President of the Club, I have no power, no authority, and no right to do anything. I will however do an Executive Order giving a social title to an individual with the Club who goes beyond the call of duty and deserves recognition.  Even though John is not going anywhere I thought it would be proper to attach the executive order to this column to let everyone again hopefully have a little giggle because it is all true. Here it is:    

                             EXECUTIVE ORDER

    I, Ashley L. Ownby, ESQUIRE, COUNTRY GENTLEMAN, standing president of the Chattanooga ski club, recognized as a non-profit social club by The Great State of Tennessee and the Internal Revenue Service of the United States of America, hereby take the following action based upon the powers AND supremacies vested in me regarding the following ski club member:

    Be it known to all the following:

    1. JOHN BLAIR NEBLETT has been a member in good standing for many years with the aforementioned Chattanooga Ski Club;

    2. During his time of membership with the ski club, he has held every executive office of leadership the club with the exception of treasurer of which office he did not hold due to his keeping of checks paid to him for ski trips in paper bags, socks, valises, and assorted personal underwear during his time as a trip leader for the same club;

    3. Also during his time of membership with the club, he has dated every single female member of the club and a good portion of the married female members of the club whenever their spouses were out of town for business or pleasure;

    4. Further, while on ski trips with the ski club, he would always find time to teach new skiers the basics of beginning snow skiing. This would always occur on a western trip if the new skier met certain qualifications being the following: (1) they were female, (2) they were good looking, AND (3) they were either single or married and their husband was not on the same trip. He would further make certain that after the new skier met his qualifications for a free lesson, and then, after he had given the new skier a basic ski lesson, he would always insist they take an early exit from the slopes at noon so they could have drinks all afternoon and he would further entice the new skier with provocative conversation;

    5. This same member who has dealt for years the terrible disease of diabetes and has been known to compare himself with insulin injections telling female ski club members that both he and the injections are similar in they both ”just hurt so good;”

    6. Moreover, this same member would on many occasions look individuals in the eye with the same conviction as our national president and say with confidence, “drinking alcohol has no effect on my diabetes in any way;”

    7. Additionally, This is the same man who has become a repository for Larry Plemmons stories with the ski club and needs only three shots of Fireball whiskey to relay the same Plemmons stories to all who will listen on any western or European club ski trip;

    8. Further, AS a motorcycle rider, this man has coordinated numerous rides with ski club members, claims to owe his existence and sole being to Harley Davidson motorcycles, but rides a Honda Gold Wing due to one reason and one reason only, the rear seat is liked better by the ladies;

    9. Additionally this man is the only male with the Chattanooga ski club who will take his girlfriends on ski trips but will only share a room with James Mullenix;

    10. Furthermore, this man has consistently roomed with James Mullenix on all ski trips religiously, and this has only been interrupted on very rare, very infrequent, almost never times James Mullenix took his own girlfriend on a ski trip;

    11. This man has always religiously used the same pickup line on any females he would meet on ski trips being, “Hey good-looking, if you and your roommate come to visit Jim and me tonight at our condo, I will make some deviled eggs;”

    12. Last but not least, this mountain of a man, the epitome of giving to others, and the most intelligent of souls always sacrificed his time, his finances, his energies, his brilliant memory, and maybe a portion of his health insuring that all ski club events, meetings, and parties were properly arranged, organized, and ready for the benefit of other ski club members, being the first to show up for the same type of activities, working the entire event for other members benefit, and then always being the last to go home from the activity after cleaning up and breaking down any set-up for the same get-together.

    WHERFORE, and WHEREAS:

    I. Based upon the above statements of acts, statements, and selfless works performed for the benefit of others during his time with the same ski club;

    II. Based upon his holding of leadership positions with the same club and taking actions to insure the same club as of today is a successful vibrant entity for flatland hillbillies who enjoy snow skiing and travel;

    I, as President of the Chattanooga Ski Club, bestow upon John Blair Neblett, for his service to the same club, a non-profit corporation organized under the laws of the great State of Tennessee, and also recognized by the UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT as a proper 503(c) corporation, with all the powers vested therein, I hereby name and bestow the title to John Blair Neblett, that from this date forward he shall claim the following as his proper title with the Chattanooga ski club as follows:

    John Blair Neblett

    “Fils de France, Et un fils du club de ski Chattanooga”

                  (Son of France, and son of the Chattanooga ski club)

    He is hereby from this day forward entitled to all the rights and benefits that are due him by this evidence of this title.

    This 15th day of July, in the year of our Lord, 2017.

    Ashley L. Ownby

    President, Chattanooga ski club

    See you at the next meeting,


  • 24 Jul 2017 4:02 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)
    Don't forget to start booking your rooms at the Glenstone Lodge in Gatlinburg for the Fall Conference, October 20th – 22nd. See everyone there!


    Glenstone Lodge, 504 Historic Nature Trail, Gatlinburg, TN  37738 (NEWLY REMODELED!)
    Toll free 800-362-9522 or 865-436-9361 (not toll free)
    $90 per night (excluding taxes) per room, 1-4 people per room

    Make your own reservation one of two ways:

    1)Online at www.glenstonelodge.com. Click on Rates/Reservations, enter dates, click on "Do You Have a Group Code" and enter group code: Crescent17.  OR,

    2)Call the above phone number - say you are with the Crescent Ski Council Conference to get the special room rate.

    Rooms can have a king bed or two queen beds. You can stay from Tuesday, October 17 (check-in day) - Wednesday, October 25 (check-out day) at the same low rate to enjoy Gatlinburg and the Smokies more.


  • 21 Jul 2017 3:44 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

    Despite some rain in the middle of the afternoon, we had a great lake party at  the Blue Springs property. Chris Witt did a fantastic job cooking the shrimp boil and grilled chickens, and the members brought terrific sides and desserts as usual.  The sunflower fields were amazing and provided lovely arrangements for the clubhouse.

    If you missed Ashley's executive order praising John Neblett, be sure to read the August President's Letter. You won't be disappointed.


  • 20 Jun 2017 5:39 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

    SUP PARTY (STAND UP PADDLE BOARD) & WATER TOYS!

    WHEN:  Sunday August 27, 2017

    TIME: 1:00-????

    WHERE:  Club house @Harbor Heights Subdivision, 3789 Kings Road, 37416 ** Thank you Jan Wyant**

    BY BOAT: Go like you’re going to the Chattanooga Coast Guard by boat.  Note** Balloons will be tied to one of the three boat docks.**

    CSC will furnish fried chicken and paper goods

    Please bring side dish or dishes to share.

    BYOB-please bring koozies and or plastic cups

    Bring your lawn chairs.

    Rock Creek will bring SUP’s; they will be available to rent for the afternoon for $10.

    If you have your own water toys; SUP, Kayak’s, Canoes, please bring.  

    For information, contact Barb Wise at barbwire@flash.net or 423-902-6095.

    Guests are $10 each, everyone will be asked to sign a release of liability form.  

  • 20 Jun 2017 4:30 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

    SATURDAY, JULY 15, 2017

    BLUE SPRINGS

    3858 BURNING BUSH ROAD

    RINGGOLD, GEORGIA 30736

    To those that are attending the Lake Party:


    We need volunteers to help set up before the party (around 10:00 AM) and take down after the party at 5:00 PM. If you want to help set up please be at there at 10:00. The party starts at 12:00 pm.


    MENU:

    This year's feast will be prepared by Bobbi and Chris Witt. We will be having a shrimp Low Country Boil. We will also be grilling chicken breasts. Please feel free to bring side items such as casseroles, desserts, rolls, garlic bread, desserts, coleslaw, macaroni salad, fruits, desserts, broccoli raisin salad, did I mention desserts, etc, etc.

    GUESTS:

    Feel free to bring guests, but please RSVP for them as well. All guests (non members) will be $10.00 a head. No animals.

    ALCOHOL:

    Everyone's favorite word. Beer and wine will be provided by the club. If you have a signature drink you would like to share, by all means share, share, share.

    BRING CHAIRS!

    For those that haven't RSVP'd to Bobbi Witt, please do so at moonsfrost@hotmail.com or text 423 322 7019 or go to the ski club Facebook and RSVP under the Lake Party Event by clicking on "Going".

    Thanks,

    Bobbi
  • 20 Jun 2017 3:31 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

    HELLO EVERYONE,

    Just like Ole and Arn Anderson, two great southern wrestlers, bellowed to the infamous Dusty Rhodes (wrestling’s “The American Dream”) ….”feel the HEAT Dusty Rhodes, feel the HEAT,” we are all beginning to feel the “HEAT” with the first days of summer upon us with reckless abandon. Even though everyone loves a good winter day with snow, blankets, wood, and all the booze one can have on a cold afternoon in January, we do have an option in the hot, sultry weather of summer!

    LAKE PARTY, LAKE PARTY, LAKE PARTY!!!!!!  JULY 15th.

    It is that time again for the social event of the year for Hamilton County with the Club Lake Party held at Jim and Priscilla Tague’s home for maybe the last time, and we need to make sure that the entire architecture of the Tague’s home remembers this party for posterity purposes.

    Please contact Bobbi Witt and tell her you are coming so we will be able to accommodate everyone with food and beverages.

    Also, if you are under the care of a doctor for chronic pain, BeBe’s famous “Pain Killers,” will be available to help those that are disabled from acute, chronic, or psychological pain. Not only do we want to help take everyone on trips skiing in Europe, we do not want to, “feel your pain.” REMEMBER July 15, 2017 is the party, so put it on your calendar and please, please attend.

    NOTICE

    There will be NO club meeting at the Enclave for July because of the Lake party.

    “………The old gray mare she ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be,…..

    Recently, Pat and I had dinner with several ski club members and I must admit, it was not a pretty site. The purpose of the dinner was to exchange medical devices. I do mean real medical devices not the other things that are called devices (you know what I mean).

    Nope, no one got mad, everyone was on their best behavior, but everyone was seriously hurt. Tom DuBose was recovering from a broken ankle, toe, foot, and fibula. His wife Susan broke her wrist last October at the Creeper Trail.

    Dave Flowers, who we all know has pissed off a higher being in his earlier life, is a walking M.A.S.H. unit, and God bless his wife Debbie for being physically sound. However, I think she will admit she also needs some type of rehab for taking care Dave these past couple of years. I noticed her having uncontrollable jerks and blurted out improper words, similar to Tourette’s during dinner that were not a part of her makeup until she became a caretaker for Dave 24/7.

    Pat, my wife, was on a cane for her knee that has been killing her most of the year and was in a lot of pain. I overdid it the day before by reaching for a cup of coffee, and almost falling to the floor from tweaking something in my back. I am not joking. I did however feel fortunate that I was able to feed myself, something not everyone else could say at the table that night, but Debbie did a good job feeding the most hurt, getting them to chew their food, and she did not spill too much on their bibs.

    Pat, however was the happiest I had seen her in years. Who says a spoonful of crushed oxycodone does not make the medicine go down?

    Here is the point, we are five months away from starting our ski club trips and already we are falling apart. To quote Kevin Meaney, a comedian who recently passed away, who did the most wonderful routine about his mother’s favorite phrase being, ”That’s not right,” it darn sure is not right we are all hurt and sick.  

    So as President of the big beautiful Chattanooga Ski Club, I would like to give everyone some helpful hints about staying physically healthy and avoiding injuries during this difficult time of year when it is just too dangerous to go outside. These are my personal helpful tips for staying healthy during the summer so we can indulge in winter frivolities are the following:

    1.  DO NOT CUSS YOUR SPOUSE FOR MAJOR OR MINOR TRANSGRESSIONS

                This is something we all know but do not practice. Yes, we all have guns and knives in our homes, but that is not what I am talking about. Have you ever been in an argument with your spouse and shortly afterwards your spouse cooks you dinner? Have you ever noticed that after you eat the ”makeup dinner,” you catch a small case of food poisoning just like you do when you make a waiter mad at a restaurant?  Digestive tract issues are totally draining and I understand a little bit of spit on mashed potatoes goes a long way.

    2. NO MATTER HOW COOL THEY LOOK OR HOW GOOD YOU FEEL, STAY OFF YOUR NEIGHBOR’S HOVERBOARD

                Forget about Russia, the Asian countries that make these instruments of destruction are out to destroy anyone over 40 who think they can still party with college folk and still keep up with them physically.

    3. DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR BODY

                I can safely say that after almost 60 years of living I have never carried on a cogent conversation with my body. I have told my body some of the funniest stories and tried the best I could to engage it in helping me make life-defining choices, but it remained silent when I really needed another person around. My body has never told me anything. Basically, whenever I even tried to second guess what I thought my physique was telling me, I ate too much, drank too much, and hurt myself doing things I should not even have tried in the first place. I am familiar with the phrase, “there may not be a truthful bone in his body,” but I feel there may not be a talking one.

    4. STAY AWAY FROM BOUNCY HOUSES

                A bouncy house is one of those blow-up things that kids get in and jump all around on at birthday parties and playgrounds. If you are an adult and even stick your head inside one, you will get hurt. Middle Eastern terrorist are bad, but bouncy houses are worse. I do not know who makes them but I believe it is probably Al Qaeda-backed forces.

    5. IF YOU GET HURT REMEMBER R.I.C.E.

                R.I.C.E. after an injury stands for the following: Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. I think this is a little much.

                I would like to recommend another R.I.C.E. with just a little twist being the following; Rob Roys (generally three), Ice house highballs, Campari sodas, and Easy Alabama Slammers top off a wonderful afternoon of pain management.

                Seriously, we must be careful out there. Just because we are a little older does not mean that bad things cannot happen to us because we are so much wiser now than years past. And should misfortune strike and we get sick or we become injured, let us wear our scars, casts, and mobile hardware like battlefield medals. Remember, we are in the game of living and sport. We are in the arena fighting day in and day out and we have the genetic makeup from thousands of years of development to deal with hurdles that come in our path, big or small, and go forward with jubilation.

    I think the Partridge family said and sang it best many years ago when they started off their television program with the song, ”Come on get happy,” and they continued to repeat the line over and over. 

                ”Come on get happy, Come on get happy, Come on get happeeeeeeeey!”

    QUOTES OF THE MONTH

    “A really strong woman accepts the war she went through and is ennobled by her scars.” Carly Simon

    People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.  Otto von Bismarck

    See you at the next meeting!